9 (2009)

In our endless pursuit of technology, we brought about our own destruction.  The giant robotic warriors that were intended to be peaceful had turned against mankind (sound familiar?).  When the scientist who invented them learned what had been done, he created nine ragdolls and infused portions of his soul into each of them.  These ragdolls live in a post-apocalyptic world and hide from the giant robots that still roam the ruins of civilization.  When 9, who is voiced by Elijah Wood (Lord of the Rings trilogy, Sin City) joins this group, he defies the leader 1, who is voiced by Christopher Plummer (12 Monkeys, Dragnet), and eventually ends up unwittingly waking a giant robot who can steal the souls of the ragdolls.  9 and 5, who is voiced by John C Reilly (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Step Brothers) encounter 7, who is voiced by the beautiful Jennifer Connelly (Labyrinth, Requiem for a Dream) and discovers that she is the badass ragdoll who hunts and slaughters the giant robots.  When 7 and 8 become captured by a one of the robots, the group head toward the factory where the robots reside.  Here, the ragdolls show some ingenuity and use a barrel of oil to blow up the factory and destroy the robots.  During their celebration, the reunited group of ragdolls learn that the soul-stealing robot had not been destroyed in the explosion and subsequent fire.  The group uses an old Howitzer gun left over from man’s war against the machines to try and defeat the monster.  This is when 9 tries to convince the group that they mustn’t destroy the machine because if they do, the souls of their fallen comrades will be lost.  Eventually successful, 9 leads the group on a plan to free the harvested souls from the monster. 

                This was a great movie.  Although the general premise was a little trite, the fact that the scientist decided to create 9 ragdolls to combat the giant monsters in the last great effort of humanity was rather original.  I enjoy nearly all post-apocalyptic movies, except The Road which was quite depressing.  As called for, the movie was rather dark and that is something I enjoy.  It’s nice to see an animated movie that isn’t all bright and cheerful.  The movie was really short and had I seen it in the theaters, I may have felt ripped off simply for that reason.  Had I rented it, I think I would have enjoyed it a lot.  Since I saw it early on a Sunday morning, it was great and was exactly what I was looking for.  I think most people would enjoy this movie.

Monsters vs Aliens (2009)

A few weeks ago I was scrolling through the program guide on tv and saw that this movie was playing on HBO.  I thought it was a very stupid title and assumed it would be a horrible movie.  So, I decided to not even bother ‘infoing’ the movie.  Then last week my brother told me it was an animated movie.  I then decided that I would give this movie a chance.  I could much more easily watch an animated movie about monsters fighting aliens rather than a live-action movie about monsters fighting aliens. 

Whenever I watch animated movies, I spend the entire movie trying to figure out who the voice of each character is.  Since this process often frustrates me, I will do my best to include the actor’s voice behind each character. 

                The movie begins with a young girl named Susan voiced by Reese Witherspoon (Four Christmases, Election) getting hit by a meteorite.  As a result, Susan is transformed into a 60-foot woman with incredible strength.  Much to her dismay, her fiancé decides to call off the wedding.  Susan is then transported to a secret government facility for monsters run by General W.R. Monger who is voiced by Kiefer Sutherland (Young Guns, The Lost Boys).  Here, Susan is met by a gelatinous, idiotic blob named B. O. B. who is voiced by Seth Rogen (Knocked Up, Superbad).  She also meets Dr. Cockroach who is voiced by Hugh Laurie (101 Dalmations, House).  The last monster there is Link who is voiced by Will Arnett (The Rocker, Blades of Glory).  When the fate of the world is threatened by aliens who are after the quantonium from the meteorite which made Susan grow to her enormous size, the President of the United States who is voiced by Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report) orders General W.R. Monger to lead his ragtag group of monsters into battle with the aliens. 

                The movie is very funny.  The gelatinous blob voiced by Seth Rogen had me laughing throughout the movie.  I also really enjoy animated movies because they get to make fun of the president and our military like real-life actors cannot.  The movie was very entertaining and funny and I would recommend it to most people (it helps to know of a few good animated movies in case I get stuck babysitting my niece.)  If I had seen this movie in the theaters, I would probably have enjoyed it.  However, since I saw the movie on tv for free, it was even more enjoyable.

Whip It (2009)

This was a fairly entertaining movie about Roller Derby.  Ellen Paige (Juno, Inception) plays Bliss, an indie-rock girl from the small town of Bodeen, Texas.  Bliss and her friend, Pash played by Alia Shawkat (Bart Got a Room, Deck the Halls) are waitresses at a local diner.  Bliss’s mother, Brooke played by Marcia Gay Harden (The Hoax, Space Cowboys) tries to get Bliss to be a pageant winner, much like herself.  Bliss has no interest in winning the pageant and instead decides to try out for a Roller Derby team in Austin, Texas named The Hurl Scouts.  The Hurl Scouts are a group of girls who are perfectly content being the worst team in the league.  The team consists of Maggie Mayhem, played by Kristen Wiig (Extract, Forgetting Sarah Marshall), Drew Barrymore (Wedding Singer, Wayne’s World 2)and a few other actresses I am not familiar with.  The ragtag team tries to defeat The Holy Rollers, led by Juliette Lewis (Natural Born Killers, From Dusk Til Dawn) who have been league champs for the past two years. 

At first, Bliss is the typical newcomer who can barely skate.  Soon after tryouts, The Hurl Scouts realize they can use Bliss’s speed to help them win a few games.  I was not familiar with the rules of Roller Derby but it was actually interesting to watch attractive women fly around in circles attempting to knock the other girls down.  If the sport were still on tv (big in the 1960’s I believe), I might even consider watching it.  Little to the surprise of the viewer, Bliss ends up being the key to the team’s success.

Bliss’s father, played by Daniel Stern (My Blue Heaven, City Slickers) ends up supporting Bliss’s new role, much to the dismay of his wife.  However, with some time, the two parents end up rooting for their daughter.  The movie has no violence, nudity or bank robberies but I still enjoyed it.  It was kind of funny and for some reason I can’t quite figure out, fairly entertaining.  Had I seen the movie in the theaters, I would have been disappointed.  If I had rented it, I may have been disappointed as well.  However, watching it on tv at three in the morning on a Saturday after getting home from a Bachelor Party, made the movie rather enjoyable.  I would recommend it to anyone who is looking to kill a few hours and is not a harsh movie critic.

Kick Ass (2010)

This movie was awesome.  I haven’t enjoyed a movie this thoroughly in a while.  When I first saw the commercial for this movie I thought it would be a typical wannabe superhero movie like Blankman or Mystery Men, both of which I happened to have enjoy as well.  I was expecting this movie to be decent but nothing great.  To my surprise, there is something very enjoyable about watching an eleven year girl kick the crap out of criminals and then shooting them in the head.  It’s even more enjoyable than watching adults shoot each other.  In addition to the rather graphic violence, which was not extreme at all, I found myself laughing throughout the movie. 

                There were no big name actors in this movie except the small role played by Nicholas Cage (Raising Arizona, Lord of War).  Cage plays Big Daddy, who is a superhero whose sidekick is the eleven year old girl (Hit Girl) mentioned above.  After many years of training, the two of them, along with the help of Kick Ass fight the mob.  Kick Ass is a high school student who suddenly decides he is going to be a superhero.  With the help of two local thieves, he soon realizes that he is not well-suited for vigilante work.  Despite his realization, Kick Ass decides to continue his superhero persona.  Shortly after this decision is when Kick Ass, Big Daddy and Hit Girl team up to kill the local mob boss and all of his underlings.  The movie was well done.  It was directed by Matthew Vaughn, who produced Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, but has directed nothing else that I have seen.  Even though he is not a big name, his directing was very well done and the violent scenes were well choreographed and executed.  Overall, this movie makes a great rental but would have been thoroughly satisfying in the theater as well.

The Wolfman (2010)

This movie is exactly what you would expect from a movie about the Wolfman.  The setting is England in 1891.  Benicio Del Toro (Sin City, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) plays Lawrence Talbot, a Shakespearean histrionic touring London.  Lawrence receives a letter informing him that his brother, Ben, has been killed.  Lawrence returns to his native land and becomes reunited with his estranged father played by Anthony Hopkins (Silence of the Lambs, Fracture).  The two of them attempt to discover Ben’s murderer. 

                The movie is dark and gives the movie an ominous feel, deliberately.  The beginning of the movie is what you would expect.  As you could easily guess from the commercials, Lawrence ends up being bitten by a werewolf while investigating his brother’s murder.  What I did find really interesting is that the doctors actually believed the Wolfman was suffering from delusions and therefore carried out inhumane and torturous “therapeutic” methods in a naïve attempt to cure Lawrence from his delusions.  As you may have inferred, this treatment goes horribly wrong and the violence that ensues is very entertaining. 

                The movie was directed by Joe Johnston (Hidalgo, October Sky) who I have never heard of.  Despite his lack of fame, Johnston did a great job directing the movie.  In addition to the great directing, the photography was very well done as well.  The beautiful Emily Blunt (Charlie Wilson’s War, The Devil Wears Prada) was also a pleasure to watch, even with her small role.

                I wanted to see this movie when it was in the theaters and I’m rather glad I decided to wait.  I may have enjoyed this movie in the theaters but seeing it on DVD on a Sunday made it that much more enjoyable.  It was well acted, dark (I generally like dark movies, especially when the subject matter is dark as well), had a good story and there was sufficient violence.  I would recommend this movie as a rental.  However, if you wait until this movie comes on television, you will likely be satisfied as well.

From Paris With Love (2010)

This was a pretty good shoot ‘em up flick starring John Travolta (Pulp Fiction, Face Off) and Jonathan Rhys  Meyers (The Tudors).  Travolta plays Charlie Wax, a veteran spy who teams up with Meyers who is currently working in the office of a US Ambassador as a gofer and serves as a low-level CIA operative.  Wax presents Meyers with his first real assignment, something Meyers has been dreaming of for a while.  The two of them aim to stop a terrorist attack in Paris.  Wax is the typical hardened vet whose unconventional methods rack up a rather large body count.  Meyer’s character, John Reese, is on the other side of the spectrum and prefers to avoid violence. 

                As you may have guessed, the movie takes place in Paris and therefore has a great excuse to have Reese’s girlfriend be a very attractive young Parisian played by Kasia Smutniak (mostly French movies I have never heard of).  It is a pleasure to watch the scenes with her character, especially since there is no deep love story. 

                The movie has tons of action, cool gadgets, a very high body count and a main character who likes to shoot first and ask questions later.  His unorthodox methods are very entertaining and I always enjoy seeing bad guys explode.  The plot is above par considering it is an action movie. 

                I rented this movie on a Sunday for a dollar and I had no idea what it was about expect that Travolta played a hit man.  Since he did a great job in Pulp Fiction as a hit man, I figured this movie couldn’t be that bad.  Given that I didn’t expect much, I really enjoyed this movie.  Had I seen it in the movie theater, I’m not sure if I would feel the same way.  As a rental though, it is a great movie.

The Box (2009)

I had the chance to see this movie in the theaters and I’m glad I decided against it.  Had I gone to the theaters, I would have been very disappointed.  However, since I rented it for free on a boring Sunday afternoon, it wasn’t that bad.  I had no expectations or hopes and I was subsequently satisfied.

                The movie starred Cameron Diaz (There’s Something About Mary, Gangs of New York), James Mardsen (Airborne, X-Men: Last Stand) and Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon, The Ninth Gate).   The basis of the movie is rather simple.  A man delivers a box, along with an offer, to the home of a couple with one son.   This man tells the couple that if they push the button on the box, someone they don’t know will die and for pressing the button, the couple will receive one million dollars tax free.  This may intrigue some people but to me it was a simple answer.  In the time it would take me to press the button, someone in the world would die anyway.  But then you have to ask yourself a question.  Why would this stranger be willing to give me a million dollars for, essentially, doing absolutely nothing?  However, the couple didn’t ask themselves this question and as you would expect, the offer wasn’t that simple. 

                The majority of the movie is rather dull and what you would expect.  However, towards the end of the movie, a few philosophical questions entered my mind.  To what lengths would you go to be financially stable?  Once an action is conducted, can we alter or change the ramifications?  When you realize you have made a mistake, to what lengths would you go to try to remedy the consequences?  These questions, coupled with the directing of Richard Kelly (he also wrote this movie, in addition to Donnie Darko, a great movie by the way), kept me interested enough to finish the movie.  The movie was mildly entertaining but as the movie progressed, I became slightly more intrigued and tried to figure out the meaning or moral of the story.  I was certain I had it figured out and then the last scene happened.  This ending scene, to me, contradicted what I thought was the underlying meaning of the movie.  Despite my urge to tell you the end (in hopes of someone discussing it with me), I do not believe that is my place.  However, if anyone has seen this movie, I would really love to wax philosophical with you. 

                While this movie wasn’t great, I did find it to be thought provoking.  That alone leaves me satisfied.  If you are bored on a Sunday afternoon or feel like debating free will versus fate with a friend, you may enjoy this flick.  If anyone has seen this movie and would like to discuss the ending, please feel free to leave a comment (the link is at the beginning of the post).

Inception (2010)

                It is rather rare that I see a movie in the theatre.  I have been disappointed too many times and I find my high expectations cause me to be let down.  So when my friend told me that Inception was, “Awesome and the best movie I had seen in a while”, I was a little skeptical.  I decided to see the movie in the theatre but I was resigned to not let my expectations get too high. 

                The movie was directed by Christopher Nolan (Black Knight, Momento).  It was very visually pleasing, but I would have been disappointed had I paid $17.50 to see it in the Imax theatre.  It is a pretty original movie that takes the viewer into the dreams of characters where anything can happen.  The casting job was very well done.  It stars Leonardo Dicaprio (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, The Departed), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (3^rd Rock From the Sun), Ellen Page (Juno), Ken Watanabe (Batman Begins, Last Samurai) and Cillian Murphy (Red Eye).  The above characters compose a mind-invasion team who try to implant an idea into the mind of Cillian Murphy’s billionaire character. 

                It is rather thought provoking and definitely interesting but although I enjoyed the movie, I found myself bored.  I didn’t really care if the protagonists were successful or not.  The movie failed to captivate me.  However, there were a few minor touches that were enjoyable enough to keep me entertained. 

                Some people will probably say it is worth seeing in the movie theatre due to the special effects and imagery.  While I understand where they are coming from, I don’t want you to think it is an amazing movie.  If you don’t expect too much, you won’t really be disappointed if you see the movie in the theatre.  On the other hand, if you wait until the movie comes out on DVD, you will almost assuredly be satisfied.

A Bronx Tale (1993)

The screenplay for this movie was written by Chazz Palminteri, who plays the local mob boss, Sonny.  The movie is directed by Robert Deniro, who plays Lorenzo Anello, the father of the main character, Calogero or ‘C’ for short.  C is a 9 nine year old boy who witnesses a murder while sitting on the stoop outside of his apartment building.  Not wanting to be a rat, C does not identify Sonny as the shooter.  In return, Sonny takes C under his wing.  C begins bringing drinks to the local mafia at their hangout, Chez Bippy.  C’s father, Lorenzo tries to teach his son to be a stand-up, hard-working citizen.  However, C is drawn to the extravagant lifestyle of Sonny.  Torn between Sonny, the man he admires, and Lorenzo, the father who he loves and respects, C is unable to make up his mind as to which life he wants to lead.  Until he is able to do so, C is getting two educations, one from the street and one from school.  That way, he’d be twice as smart as everybody else. 

 The young C is a witty, wise-cracking kid who never understands why his father says he, “Did a good thing for a bad man” when he lies to the cops about Sonny being the shooter.  As we have all heard, his father tells him he will understand when he is older…he does.   

 The movie jumps to an older C who is in high school.  Much to the dismay of his father, C is still hanging out with the local mafia members.  It is during a bar fight with a biker gang passing thru town that we hear my favorite movie line of all time, “Now you’s can’t leave”. 

 C becomes interested in a girl at school, who lives down on Webster avenue.  Since she is an African-American, C is not sure if it is ok to pursue her.  Receiving conflicting advice from his father and from Sonny, C decides to go after the girl.  The love aspect of this movie is easily tolerated, especially since the romance has a rather large influence on the progression of the movie and the development of the main character, C.  

 The movie has great casting, big name actors, an interesting plot, great soundtrack and many humorous lines.  Since this is my favorite movie of all time, I can easily say that had I seen this movie in the theaters, I would have been thoroughly satisfied.  

P.S. “The saddest thing in life is wasted talent” -Lorenzo

Lord of War (2005)

The informative, yet humorous opening sets the pace for this movie and the opening scene, which follows the path of a bullet, from its creation to the eventual body of a victim, intrigues the viewer.  The movie centers on the didactic and witty narration of Yuri Orlov (Nicholas Cage), a Ukranian living in Brooklyn.   Wanting to be great and rich one day but not knowing how to attain that dream, Yuri decides there’s not enough of a profit margin in drug dealing and gang wars and so he decides to be an arms trader and deal in actual wars. 

 Yuri goes into business with his bored younger brother, Vitaly Orlov (Jared Leto) and the two try to skirt the law, represented by the indignant ATF agent, Jack Valentine (Ethan Hawke), who follows the rule book religiously.  Although Yuri is an arms dealer, his rationalizations and charming demeanor creates an affinity for the viewer who ends up hoping he wins the next encounter with Valentine. 

  The movie’s love story, which seems to be unavoidable in movies today, is not as annoying as it usually is, especially since the love interest is played by Bridget Moynahan.  Her character, Eva Fontaine, is duped into falling in love with the art-dealing family man, which Yuri is not.   

 Yuri’s frequent dealings with the president of Liberia, Andre Baptiste (Eamonn Walker), are highly entertaining and insightful.  Eamonn Walker played Kareem Said on HBO’s OZ, which is why I enjoyed the interactions with the two so much, in addition to his fine acting and the amusing writing.   Andre’s ‘Kalashnikov Kids ‘are a rather disturbing portrayal of the young kids going to war in Africa over blood diamonds.  The ending of the movie is intriguing and rather disturbing in a way and wraps the movie up nicely. 

Overall, the movie is very entertaining and has very memorable lines.  I had not seen this movie in the theater but if I had, I don’t believe I would have been disappointed.  I have it on DVD and have seen it many times and still enjoy it.